Translation News

Work on my next translation (an entry for the John Dryden Translation Competition) has been accompanied by the Royal Mail delivery from Hell. It seemed promising enough on Monday: 'next day delivery before 1.00pm'. But 'next day', starting on Monday, should be Tuesday, and Royal Mail's final date gives the game away:

So what happened on Tuesday (apart from stalwart manning of the front door, obvs)?

The package was in 'Swindon MC' (whatever that is) and it stayed there long after the promised delivery time. Nearly 16 hours after arriving at 'Swindon MC' it was passed, just before midnight, to 'Swindon MC'. So Wednesday dawned. And on Wednesday many things happened at 'Reading DO' (which I imagine is a Distribution Office, though to judge by the TEN entries in the tracking log it might as well stand for Dithering and Obfuscation. Perhaps it was a software glitch (oh no, that's the Post Office).

But the package did arrive in the end. Lucky it wasn't urgent.

AOB

Before Christmas I wrote – rather hurriedly...

<path-not-trodden> 

(I originally planned to vary the refrain, but with looming deadlines – both The Times's and homelier ones – I just cutNpasted the 'honest mistake' bit) 

</path-not-trodden>

... – this: 

God rest ye merry, gentlemen of the HMRC 
Who calculate the way to raise the costs of decency       

So we can hold our heads up in the world community        

Oh that's what it takes to be a Mensch

(Pardon my French)

Oh that's what it takes to be a Mensch .

But then Nadhim Zahawi got to be the taxman's boss

And found his business interests were set to make a loss

Unless he cooked the books a bit (whoever'd give a toss?)

 'It was only an ho-onest mistake

Honest mistake

It was only an ho-onest mistake.'

Then Rishi's post-Truss cabinet began to give him grief

Nadhim became a Minister without a working brief

No clash of int'rest possible, now that was a relief 

'It was only an ho-onest mistake

Honest mistake.

It was only an ho-onest mistake.'

In January Rishi made a show of being fair

And so Nadhim Zahawi was bumped down to party chair

He really couldn't  mess with things, no clash of int'rest -  there 

'It was only an ho-onest mistake

Honest mistake.'

Some may think that he was really on the take.

It would have taken up about a fifth of the space available in The Times Diary, so I'm not surprised it didn't lead to fame/fortune/national acclaim. But I'm my own gatekeeper...

<buzzword_du_jour>
(reference to a not-very-satisfying piece on the radio today, with a particularly lame ending)
<buzzword_du_jour>

... so you've got it – like it or not.,

Happy New Year.

b

Update 2024.01.29.15:00 – Added PS

PS

It's done and submitted. As usual, the entry form (specifically the requirements for the naming of files) left something to be despaired. 

<rantette>

(and no, that's not a typo). As someone who used to be paid to write instructions (and did Courses to prove it, with certificates and everything [which I forbore to stick on my wall] I find the attempts of the well-meaning academical committee charged with writing and rewriting the rules an annual trial).

After failing to make head or tail of some instructions, which led me to damage a newly-bought tool, I wrote (here)

They might as well ship these things  pre-broken  – it'd save a lot of bother.

Nothing broken this time though, if you don't count a few brain cells.
</rantette>